The Sunshine Empire

There is no better example of the ridiculous state of American politics than my dear home state of Florida. This is the state mind you, that gave us the presidential recount drama of 2000. But the meritocracy that the founders imagined has died in America, and Florida is its tombstone. In both the race for governor and senator, hard working public servants have run fantastic campaigns in states that they have called home for quite some time. Say what you will about their particular views on both sides of the aisle, they have worked in the public sector on behalf of the people of Florida for the majority of their careers. Senatorial candidates like Kendrick Meek, Charlie Crist and Marco Rubio have records to run on and service and positions to point to in their campaigns. Gubernatorial candidates like Bill McCollum and Alex Sink have served in statewide and national office on behalf of the people of Florida and have spent time in town halls and small towns all across the sunshine state learning the concerns of our people. Yet this current absurd political climate that is being branded as “anti-incumbent” by the “liberal” media has provided the perfect opportunity for crass opportunists of the highest order.

When the contentious fight over the health care reform bill in the United States congress came to a close, people all across the fruited plane breathed a sigh of relief since they no longer would be subjected to seeing Skeletor’s dick cousin Rick Scott on their televisions 24 hours a day. Scott, who when in charge of Columbia/HCA oversaw staggering Medicare fraud, decided that he wanted to purchase the governorship. We in Florida were not allowed a reprieve from this dill-weed and now see him non-stop in commercials for the Republican primary for Governor. In the campaign for the senate seat left open by Bush stooge Mel Martinez, billionaire Jeff Greene decided to step in at the last moment to buy himself in. Greene is such an outsider that his last political race was outside the Democratic party and outside the state of Florida. The man lost a race for the Republican nomination for a seat in California. The sad thing about both these men that my ancestors would have termed carpetbaggers, is that they are winning as of today’s polling.

This state has lost its damn mind, and I’m saddened by this. I’ve made a pledge that if Rick Scott becomes governor of the State of Florida I will move my empire elsewhere. This is not even a partisan issue with me either. Even if Greene succeeds in beating Kendrick Meek, I’ll find myself voting for the empty suit in the closet at the governors mansion for senate. Neither is a comforting prospect for my conscience regardless of party. It only proves that nothing matters in politics but your personal bank account, and I live in a state whose populace is as moronic as a bag of bricks.

Related posts:

1. The Political Realities Of A Scott Brown Win Tonight
2. What Did We Learn Last Night: Florida Primary Night
3. On Preemptive End Zone Dancing For Scott Brown And Massa
4. The Tragic Story Of Captain Michael Scott Speicher
5. Florida Has One Season