The Sunshine Empire

Biggus: That song “Babe” by Styx was on earlier, and it’s stuck in my head.
me: you’re fucked
Biggus: That’s not what I wanted to hear.
me: Styx is a preexisting condition, so you are going to be encouraged to shoot yourself in the face
sorry
We were going to euthanize you in your 20′s but the military stepped in for that Pentagon office radiation test
that’s where you got your super strength
Biggus: And I fought the diabolical Red Skull, preserving liberty throughout the globe.
me: well there was that
But we never realized the side effects involved. Like Styx for instance
Ted in accounting warned us, but did we listen? Nooooooo
Biggus: You fucking eugenicists. You never think about the consequences of your theories.
me: We had a 15 minute meeting on the matter about a week before the incident, but it just went off topic into who was the SEC running back most likely to beat Captain Kirk in hand to hand combat
Biggus: Surprisingly, it was Siran Stacy.
me: again this entire endevour has been full of surprises
Biggus: I just pulled that name out of my memory of SEC running backs, but apparently he was involved in a tragic accident in 2008.
me: well I guess sadly he’s off the board
Biggus: No, he didn’t die. Six others in his van did.
me: not to mention Captain Kirk being a fictional character
Biggus: You. Take. That. Back.
me: I was convinced he was coming to my 6th birthday party.
Biggus: Really?
You were a weird little kid.
me: I’m almost embarrassed for my parents when I think back to having to raise me
Biggus: I was convinced God caught my toy milk bottle that I was throwing into the air when I was three or so. It didn’t come down (probably landed on the roof or in a tree), so God seemed the most logical thief.
It’s one of the few things I remember from that age.
me: and you became an agnostic
seems someone has resentment issues
Biggus: IT WAS MINE!