The Sunshine Empire

Last night my Mother told me that Swine Flu hysteria has struck my family. An aunt, who lives on the other side of town and I live in the largest city in terms of land area in the lower 48, apparently has contracted it by going to a water park in Orlando. This teaches us that swine flu is really everywhere. It also teaches us that water parks are disgusting, filthy places to be without a haz-mat suit on. People forget that we went through this swine flu business in the 1970′s and everybody did not die. Now my aunt is going to be fine, but that wont stop the hysterical stories that will start once fall strikes the northeast in a few months. Get ready for Armageddon folks.