The Sunshine Empire

me: I always forget how good Air is
the band
Biggus: That’s probably because they aren’t that good.
me: oh yea
Biggus: But it’s fine that you like them. I just think less of you because of it.
Would “Polka Dots and Paisley” be a good title for a blog that had nothing to do wiht polka dots or paisley?
me: I hate saying any instance of saying “polk”
which encompasses the two uses, Polka dots, and former President James K. Polk
Manifest Destiny
Biggus: What about “volk” you fucking Nazi?
me: but otherwise, yes
my Mother drives a Volkswagon, and I don’t call her car by make at any time
I just say, Moms car
or the silver one
or “Krautmobile”
or “Nazi Sled” in a kind of omage to Jim Rome
but never Volkswagon
Biggus: That must be the Irishman in you.
me: it’s just too awkward a sound
Biggus: What about “People’s Car?”
me: I accused a coworker of being a redistributer
so no
he’ll want to take my Mother’s car
Biggus: What about “The People’s Elbow?”
me: can you smell what Dwayne Johnson is cooking?
Biggus: I can, and it smells like…vict’ry.
me: actually you just spilled the newcastle right next to you
and or Yingaling
it’s pungent
Biggus: Like a good fart or daphodils.
me: The James brand is daphodils
Biggus: We have a brand? Sweet. My cattle and/or slaves are getting a good branding.
“What’s this flow’ry bullsheet?” “That’s the James brand.” “Oh…I didn’t mean no disrespect. Don’t shoot me. I got a family.” “Shoullda thought about that before you went a-mockin’ Dougherty.” Bang
me: brilliant
Biggus: If I were to write a western it would have a shooting every other scene, and it would involve unicorns.
me: Call the movie “The Unicorn Stampede”
make teenage girls think it’s going to be some My Little Pony shit
then have a gritty western that just happens to have horses with one horn
Biggus: “We gotta drive these unicorn to Lincoln by the spring.” “That ain’t possible Josiah.” “Ain’t nothin’ that ain’t possible if you believe .
me: “BELIEVEN IS WHAT GOT JEB TRAMPLED. YOU WANT THAT AGAIN? DO YAH?”
Biggus: Jeb got trampled cause he was a no good cuss who didn’t pay no ‘tention. We’ll drive these unicorns, and we’ll get our take.
I gotta go to bed.
me: we’ll camp here